All right....

[lintninja]

I give up. I can't do this. Four major meltdowns in three days. The last one because he misheard what I said and was waiting for me to go out on a walk with him. I explained that he had misheard me, but he could not let go of what he thought that I said. He has gone walkabout now.
I can't keep this up. He throws things when the slightest thing goes wrong. If he knocks something over, he picks it up an throws in across the room, even if I am in the line of fire. There is nothing that I can say or do to keep him from a meltdown. I am exhausted. Constantly living on my nerve endings ready to change direction and avoid a meltdown.
I am so, so tired.

Comments

[sushispook]

Oh sweetie. Dementia of any kind is so much bigger than one person. You can't fight the storm and there's nothing gained from pretending otherwise - and it's clearly not working for him either. I am so fucking sorry.

I love you. It's okay to be beaten by this, because it's a beast. You are worth helping - I hope you can find a way to ask for help to shift out of this.

<3 <3 <3 <3

[lintninja]

I know that it is a losing battle. I know that I have to find some sort of solution that does not involve me committing murder. I just have to scrape up the energy to go on and find something that will not kill either one of us.