lintninja

I just found out that the son of a friend of mine died of a massive heart attack on Tuesday. I am crushed. I am having such a hard time wrapping my head around a guy in his middle thirties dropping dead when all the other shitter s are walking around alive. Meh.

I am afraid We are on the brink of a nuclear war with a certifiable madman at the helm. I just do not see how this all ends well for anybody. Please, hall him out and send him to a padded cell to await war crime trials.

The weather today is cold and crystal bright blue. I have to trundle out to the bus and go to the post office and the printers to get some paper cut for another fairly large order. (yay). Several problems have been resolved this week, although with some strife and rancor. Finally got the Mr.'s phone working after several 2- hour plus phone sessions with both Xfinity and Samsung. The car is still dead and will remain so for the foreseeable future.
Working on paying bills and figuring out how to get to and from appointments on the bus. It is an adventure. Gonna get to ride the light rail, which is kind of fun. With the cold weather there are a lot more walking wounded riding public transit. I can't help but be moved by them. I feel like I am only a couple of steps behind them some days.
In another news, I am still having daily conversations with theoretical Steve. They are fun and varied. It's just a couple of paragraphs each day, but I find that I am looking forward to them. It is nice to talk to a creative person not in my household.
So, hanging in there and feeling like things are a bit more doable.

I have to say that it is harder and harder to have any holiday spirit with one thing after another going all screwball on us. I knew that the car needed some work, but I didn't think it was the alternator. Gonna be about $1100. Not happening this year. So, we get to see how we get around without a car for a while. At some point I will have to stop driving because of my eyes, but I didn't want to have to stop so soon. Grump.
Truth is, that with all of the accumulated crap over the past few years, I have very few emotions left. Unless endurance is an emotion.

Things had been going pretty smoothly until the last couple of days. No tantrums or things thrown. Today, tantrums, throwing things, and locking self in office. The thing is, locking self in office is actually a good thing to have time to decompress. I am hoping that tomorrow is better. I was getting used to semi-normal. Silly me.

So, this is the time of year that I should be getting busy and cranking out orders. Crickets. I am starting to get panicky. Expenses skyrocketing and no money coming in. The longer the shutdown goes, the longer I and many like me will go without orders. Many small companies depend on this time of year to balance out the books and get some put away for the upcoming year. Prognosis is not good. The republicans seem determine to kill of anyone not making six figures or more. We have social security and that is it other than my business. Not sleeping very well and it is hard to be patient with other things that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
It is hard now for everyone. Sending hugs and gentle purrs to the people at large suffering through this crap.

Bleh! Sneeze! Couch! It is loooong overdue, but there have been extenuating circumstances that have made it impossible to do. So, we are slowly getting things cleaned up one corner at a time. Was there ever so much dust?? We live next to the laundry room, and it gets dusty in here fast. I have been too depressed and stressed to tackle most of it for well over a year now. But, there have been and will be some inspections and things need to be done. Since I don't have orders coming in, I have the time to do this stuff.
We have been living in squalor. It is as simple as that. It is high time to change that and make this a pleasant place to be where we can have people over and now loose them in the mess.
I have been doing small tasks that I have put off forever. It is actually really gratifying to get these things done. Everything else is so out of control, this makes a huge difference.

Super crabby tantrummy day today. Been super short tempered for a few days. Today was the big explosion. Had to take him to urgent care with part of a hearing aid stuck in his ear. We had to miss another appointment to do that. So I had to call and cancel that and call back later to reschedule. Came home from second trip out to get meds and go to the post office. We were both expecting packages. I got a notice that there were packages in the locker and a code to open the locker. Loren did not get a code and freaked out about where his stuff was. I had had a package a couple of weeks ago that had the same thing where they said that it was delivered but never sent a code and the package vanished.
SO now He is freaking out that they same thing happened to him. Wants to storm the front office. I say we should check what we have in the locker, but this is no longer an option and everything I say is confusing and not pertaining to the current situation. I try and say that you just need to forget what I said and check the locker. He locks himself in the office. I go and check the locker and all of our stuff is there.
But, I am in deep trouble for confusing him. So he stormed out and has taken himself off somewhere that I am not. He now sais that he will just not ask me any questions and not talk to me. FINE!
I am hoping that he can back off from the outrage and calm down.
This disaese is so fucking evil.

We are entering another foggy and confused phase. Things have been pretty normal around here for a couple of months. I was kind of getting used to it. Not right now. Forgetting many things and easily scared and angry.
The more I read about this evil disease, the more frightened I get by what is coming. This is no ride for weaklings, that is for sure.

This is a bad one today. I got into trouble for not making coffee. I didn't make coffee, because I was going to ask him if I should, but he was cursing and kicking things around the apartment. Guess I should have gone for it and asked anyway. Sigh. And we were doing so well there, I almost forgot.